DÉJÀ VU

When I was first introduced to this young lady not long ago, I had a negative hunch that this girl will cause some level of complexity in my life sooner or later. I didn’t know why. She seemed nice at that time, but somehow, she has this aura which reminded me so much of a person I befriended with long time ago.

The same skinny slender figure, the exact same tone of voice, the expression on her face that she made on her face when she is uncomfortable with something or someone (which happens more often than not) and last but not least they came from the exact same family background and hometown … funny, eh! Talking about déjà vu!

The friend that I knew long time ago, had been indeed a friend in need, but behind my back, she has been the sharpest blade ever known to man that slits your back so gently and nicely that you didn’t even feel it until you had bled almost to death. I swore to myself that I would never let this kind of person near my life again, ever! But, Allah has his own ways of assembling our lives .. and again, I was destined to meet the same kind of snake again …

As what my mother always teach me to always have a good heart, I accepted her as a friend, which is so unavoidable the fact that I had to deal with her on a daily basis. I was careful in the beginning, but then after a while, she seemed like a person that you can trust. You start sharing stories and you start helping her out in everything she needs. There I thought that I have made the wrong first perception on her and I felt guilty about it.

Praises to Allah, somehow I have been blessed with a lot of kemudahan & kesenangan in my life recently. Things started to go well in my life and my career. But, it all came with a big price tag. The girl that I accepted as a “friend” apparently is just a mere acquaintance.. I don’t even know if she understand what being friends is all about, I don’t even know if she values the concept of being a decent human being.
I can’t even recall when it all started. I did notice that she talked less with me and more with others. I noticed that she started spending more time with another girl that she had been badmouthing since the first day I met her (change of heart?) and avoiding me at the same time. I noticed that everytime something good happens to me, she couldn’t be bothered to ask me about it and when I tell her about it, she just smiled cynically and said nothing. It’s one thing if she just shoved me aside in all her social activities, which I could totally live without, but when she start badmouthing me around and making unkind remarks on me, that really pisses me off. I had done nothing bad to her!

Why oh why do I keep stumbling upon this kind of human being? When I was younger, maybe running away seemed to be the smartest solution. But now? Running away is not an option. Do I deal with it? But how? Do I just ignore it? I wish I could just leave it aside and not think about it, but I’m just human. Having to live in this kind of hostile environment is really energy draining. It’s tiring. It distracts me from my main goals. I might as well just focus my energy on advancing my career and improving my life.. do I have the strength ? Do I ? Will I?
So now, every morning I pray to Allah that I am protected from the hostility and jealousy of other humans, and every night I pray that these kind of human beings are blessed with Nur and Hidayah so that they will do no harm to other people anymore … ceh! Macam bagus je … but I’m trying to train my heart to be good. My mother has always been my idol … and in situations like this, I always think about what Mak would do if she were in my shoes. So, as cliché as it sounds, SABAR! SABAR! SABAR!

After all, the world IS round ..

Welcome 1430H ... Welcome 2009

Bismilla hirrahmaa nirrahim ...

Another year has passed ... 1429H and 2008 is way behind us now. Hijrah is always associated to moving to a better condition ... New Year is also associated with new year resolutions ... azam baru ... ada yg nak berenti hisap rokok, ada yang nak naik pangkat, ada yang nak kawin, ada yang tambah anak ...

Good, Alhamdulillah ... but those new year resolutions are very substantial ... what the about the smaller things that matters? The subjective things ...the small things that are much more significant in our daily lives ...

What about remembering to say “Bismillah” before you do anything ...

What about remembering to say “Please” before you ask for any favour ...

What about making it a habit to say “Alhamdulillah” to every good things that happens to us ..

What about saying “Thank you” to everybody at anytime regardless of the size of the contribution that they have made to our life ...

What about feeling grateful and blessed for every half full glass that we have and not complaining about the empty half that we don’t have ...

Our daily lives are surrounded by negative things ... We like to do the 3C’s, we like to Complaint, Condemn and Critic. Just stay quiet for a good 10 minutes and observe your surroundings. When the next person to you talks, its always about the 3C’s ...

“Alamak ... hujan la, macam mana nak balik ni ....”

“Eeee .. cuba tengok mamat tu, mata dia juling la ...”

“Issh ... bos ni, tak habis2 la suruh kita amend surat ni. Brapa kali nak tukar daa...”

“Bosannya buat keje ni ... ”

“Eh, cuba tengok akak tu, baju dia tak kena langsung dengan seluar dia ...”

“Aku menyampah betul dengan minah tu, asyik nak kutuk orang je ...”

Eh! Awak yang bercakap tu bukan tengah kutuk orang ke? ... That’s the problem, we NEVER fail to see other people’s mistake, but yet, we take ages to understand and accept the fact we are at fault too. As simple as, lebih senang nampak orang lain yg ada taik mata bertempek kat mata daripada nampak kita punya taik mata yg bertempek kat mata kita. Betul tak? Sorry for the disgusting example, but thats how things are.

I couldn’t agree more with the malay proverb “ Gajah depan mata tak Nampak, semut di seberang Nampak ..” such a sad attitude. I am not talking about others ... I am talking about myself ... sama je ...

Mirror mirror on the wall ... who’s at fault and the worse of them all ... so, take a good look in the mirror and judge for yourself ...
So, my new year resolution, I want to be a better person by means of memperbanyakkan muhasabah diri and think twice, three times, ten times before I say anything that hurts other people ... BerHIJRAH kearah yang lebih baik, Insya Allah ...

I’ve had a very challenging year in 2008 ... I changed job, I sent my maid home due to her misbehaviour and i’m still struggling to juggle between office work and home work, I was faced with a BIG challenge that really tested the strength of my marriage ... but Alhamdulillah ... everything turned out well even though the journey was rough and hard-hitting ...

I do not deny the fact that nobody likes changes. Everybody usually prefers to stay in their own comfort zone but then they still expect that life would be better for them. Many people just like to do their own routine day in day out and they just resist anything new. Bukan aku nak kutuk bangsa sendiri, aku pun Melayu tapi sedih rasanya bila tengok bangsa aku sendiri ni yang suka sangat buat benda dengan cara senang. Buat kerja dengan attitude “asal siap”. Pastu bising tak naik pangkat, gaji tak cukup, etc., etc ... You want extra things in life , but you never want to put in the xtra effort. How can maa...? So, instead of just WANTING things to be better, so, I HAVE to MAKE things better ...

The thing is, we never fail to see the bad side of things, even though its only 10% of the whole picture. We focus 90% of our energy on that 10% bad cluster. Tapi kalau kita focus to amend our own bad cluster xpe ... ini tak, sibuk ngan org lain punya evil side. An then one more thing, kalu ada new things, apa kira pun, condemn dulu, semuanya nk melompat tak tentu pasal. Bukan nak absorb & fikir dulu apa yg orang cakap tu betul ke, salah ke, baik ke, buruk ke ... semuanya nak reject. Walaupun hakikatnya benda tu untuk kebaikan.

Do you want the best of life or not?

Choose to be NICE because you cannot be NICE and BAD at the same time ..

Choose to be SINCERE because you cannot be SINCERE and HYPOCRITE at the same time ..

Choose to be HAPPY because you cannot be HAPPY and ANGRY at the same time ..

If you continue to do the things you’ve done, you WILL continue to get the things u’ve got...

May you have a beautiful, blessed, prosperous, smooth 1430H / 2009M ...

Ride of Your Life

A friend forwarded to me this email which i think is very beautiful and inspiring ... so, here goes ...

George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor and
author. He is especially noted for his political and black humour and his
observations on language, psychology and religion along with many taboo
subjects.

George Carlin on aging!(Absolutely Brilliant)

IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE.
AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' *'*I'm four *and a half!' *You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm *gonna be *16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You *become* 21. Even
the words sound like a ceremony. *YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! *

But then you* turn *30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're
Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You *BECOME *21, you *TURN *30, then you're *PUSHING* 40. Whoa! Put on the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you *REACH* 50 and your
dreams are gone.*
**
But wait!!! *You *MAKE it *to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you *BECOME* 21, *TURN* 30, *PUSH *40, *REACH *50 and *MAKE it *to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you *HIT* 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You *get into *your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch;
you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s,
you start going backwards; 'I *Was JUST *92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! *
**
HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful and truthful friends and relatives. The grouches pull you down. Leave them alone. Let them live their lives and you live
yours.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And
the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away .

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people , who cares? But do share
this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE..... .

about me?

does this explains me?..

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

TAZKIRAH RAMADHAN

Assalamualaikum,

UNTUK AMALAN KITA BERSAMA SUPAYA KITA SAMA-SAMA MENDAPAT KEREDHAAN ALLAH SWT.

'Au zubillah himinashsyaitan nirrajim ... bismillahirrahmannirrahim'
Tafsirannya : Aku berlindung dengan Allah daripada syaitan yang direjam, dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani.
Bacalah ayat ini sebelum anda memulakan apa-apa saja kerja kerana dengan bacaan ini akan keluarlah iblis dan syaitan yang berada didalam tubuh kita dan juga di sekeliling kita, mereka akan berlari keluar umpama cacing kepanasan.

Sebelum anda masuk rumah, bacalah ayat di atas, kemudian bacalah surah Al-Ikhlas (iaitu ayat: Qulhuwallahuahad. Allahussamad. Lam yalid walam yu-lad. walam yakul lahu kufuwanahad.) sebanyak 3 kali. Masuklah rumah dengan kaki kanan dan dengan membaca bismillah. Berilah salam kepada anggota rumah dan sekiranya tiada orang di rumah berilah salam kerana
malaikat rumah akan menyahut.

Amalkanlah bersolat kerana salam pertama (ianya wajib) yang diucapkan pada akhir solat akan membantu kita menjawab persoalan kubur. Apabila malaikat memberi salam, seorang yang jarang bersolat akan sukar menjawab salam tersebut. Tetapi bagi mereka yang kerap bersolat, amalan daripada salam yang diucap diakhir solat akan menolongnya menjawab salam malaikat itu.

Sabda Rasulullah S.A.W yang bermaksud: Barangsiapa membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sewaktu sakit sehingga dia meninggal dunia, maka dia tidak akan membusuk di dalam kuburnya, akan selamat dia dari kesempitan kuburnya dan para malaikat akan membawanya dengan sayap mereka melintasi titian siratul mustaqim lalu menuju ke syurga. (Demikian diterangkan dalam Tadzikaratul Qurthuby).

Rasulullah SAW pernah bertanya sebuah teka-teki kepada umatnya : Siapakah antara kamu yang dapat khatam Qur'an dalam jangka masa dua-tiga minit? Tiada seorang dari sahabatnya yang menjawab. Malah Saiyidina Umar telah mengatakan bahawa ianya mustahil untuk mengatam Qur'an dalam begitu cepat.
Kemudiannya Saiyyidina Ali mengangkat tangannya. Saiyidina Ummar bersuara kepada Saiyidina Ali bahawa Saiyidina Ali (yang sedang kecil pada waktu itu) tidak tahu apa yang dikatakannya itu. Lantas Saiyidina Ali membaca surah Al-Ikhlas tiga kali. Rasulullah SAW menjawab dengan mengatakan bahawa Saiyidina Ali betul.
Membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sekali ganjarannya sama dengan membaca 10 jus kitab Al-Quran. Lalu dengan membaca surah Al-Ikhlas sebanyak tiga kali qatamlah Quran kerana ianya sama dengan membaca 30 jus Al-Quran.

Berkata Ibnu Abbas r.a. bahawa Rasulullah SAW telah bersabda: Ketika saya (Rasulullah SAW) israk ke langit, maka saya telah melihat Arasy di atas 360,000 sendi dan jarak jauh antara satu sendi ke satu sendi ialah 300,000 tahun perjalanan. Pada tiap-tiap sendi itu terdapat padang sahara sebanyak 12,000 dan luasnya setiap satu padang sahara itu seluas dari timur hingga ke barat. Pada setiap padang sahara itu terdapat 80,000 malaikat yang mana kesemuanya membaca surah Al-Ikhlas. Setelah mereka selesai membaca surah tersebut maka berkata mereka: Wahai Tuhan kami, sesungguhnya pahala dari bacaan kami ini kami berikan kepada orang yang membaca surah Al-Ikhlas baik ianya lelaki mahupun perempuan.
Sabda Rasulullah SAW lagi: Demi Allah yang jiwaku ditanganNya, sesungguhnya Qul Huwallahu Ahadu itu tertulis di sayap malaikat Jibrail a.s, Allahhus Somad itu tertulis di sayap malaikat Mikail a.s, Lamyalid walam yuulad tertulis pada sayap malaikat Izrail a.s, Walam yakullahu kufuwan ahadu tertulis pada sayap malaikat Israfil a.s.

Nota:
Jika sekiranya kawan-kawan ingin mengumpul saham akhirat, sampaikanlah ilmu ini kepada kawan2 yang lain. Sepertimana sabda Rasulullah SAW 'Sampaikanlah pesananku walaupun satu ayat'. Sesungguhnya apabila matinya seseorang anak Adam itu, hanya 3 perkara yang akan dibawanya bersama :
1) Sedekah/amal jariahnya
2) Doa anak-anaknya yang soleh
3) Ilmu yang bermanfaat yang disampaikannya kepada orang lain.

Sepotong ayat penerang hidup
Untuk renungan bersama.
Sebarang ayat Allah (al Quran) atau zikir bila dibaca dengan khusu' dan tawadu' serta di sedekah oleh anak kepada ibu bapa insyaAllah dipanjangkan sedekah itu kepada mereka terutama yang sedang sakit atau sudah meninggal dunia ......

Harapan Ramadhan

Salam Ramadhan el-Mubarak to all..
Semoga Ramadhan 1429H lebih baik daripada tahun2 yang lalu..

Doa untuk kalian..

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku ..
Yang Maha Berkuasa..
Yang Maha Pemurah..
Yang Maha Pengampun..
Yang Maha Melindungi..
Yang Maha Memelihara..

Sempena Ramadhan Al Mubarak yang mulia ini, dengan segala kerendahan hati dan penuh Iman kepadaMu Ya Allah, aku memohon kepadaMu untuk diriku, keluargaku, sahabat-sahabatku dan seluruh umat Islam ya Allah ..

Ringankanlah badan kami untuk menunaikan solat dan menyembahkan diri kepadaMu Ya Allah..
Kuatkankanlah tenaga kami untuk menjalani ibadah puasa Ya Allah..
Teguhkanlah jiwa kami untuk menghidupkan malam-malam Ramadhan dengan ibadat kepadamu Ya Allah..
Murahkanlah hati kami untuk bersedekah ke jalanMu Ya Allah..
Permudahkanlah usaha kami untuk mencari rezeki yang halal Ya Allah..
Peliharakanlah lidah kami dari perkataan yang sia-sia dan menyakiti orang lain Ya Allah..
SATUKANLAH HATI KAMI di bawah nama Islam Ya Allah ..

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alameen ...
Perkenankan lah Ya Allah ...

Sayonara SPN

Bila Yang Tertulis Untukku
Adalah Yang Terbaik Untukmu
Kanku Jadikan Kau Kenangan
Yang Terindah Dalam Hidupku
Namun Takkan Mudah Bagiku
Meninggalkan Jejak Hidupku
Yang Telah Terukir Abadi
Sebagai Kenangan Yang Terindah

I never thought I'd say good bye to SPNB.. But I guess there are times that you just hit the crossroads and you have to make a choice. When I hit the crossroads end June 08, I stood there for along time staring at my choices of paths ... after due consultation with my hubby and friends and seeking guidance from The Almighty, I have come up with a decision to go ahead and explore the new path that is opening up for me ..

Trust me! It is not an easy decision for me .. IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT!! There's no reason for me to leave SPNB .. I'm enjoying my life here .. the company is good, the bosses are great and I have superb colleagues. Well, when assessing it from other factors, (the economic ones, to be precise) .. I believe I just had to bid farewell.. When I have made my decision to leave, Allah just made it easier for me there on. The reasoning for me to start a new challenge began to get clearer. There's nothing wrong with SPNB, it's just that I just stumbled on a better opportunity for me to explore.. I am not young anymore. I am pushing 30 next year. I need new challenges and new things to learn when i still can. I've learned a lot from my bosses and colleagues but I guess I just need to push myself a little bit further to challenge my limits ... as i have said to en fadzli, for all i know, i might come back one day, one fine day ..

I am trying not to be too optimistic about the new place. I am constantly reminded by sayful that things might not be too perfect over there .. I am aware and thank you for keep reminding me about it. Maybe the pay is good but I cant expect that the environment is as good as it is in CAD now .. am i up to the challenge? yup! be strong gal!!

Well, moving forward is one thing but leaving those beautiful nice things in your past is no easy task ... SPNB is my 3rd company and i'm telling you ... this is the best ever place to work especially in CAD ... well, it does has its hiccups here and there but nothing's perfect, right?

To all these people who has helped me grow into a better person in SPNB in one way or another .. I can never thank you enough ...

APS team ...

ILA ... thank you for the endless assisstance and for being such a dear friend .. you are the greatest and i am definitely sure that you'll grow to be the best person in every aspect of your life ...

KAK WA ... you have been the "kakak" that I never had and thank you for being such a great friend... you have a lot of potential in you and is just waiting to explode! All the best sis!

EN FADZLI ... THE GREATEST BOSS! My primary appreciation goes to you bos! No amount of thank you can ever be enough to show you my gratefulness to everything that you've taught me ... you've enllighten me in a so many ways and I really hope that we can be a team again one day .. one fine day ..

FAIZAL ... thank you for being a great team player and a great friend... So many things to thank you for... and above all thank you for being such a great friend..

JOE ... thank you ... your one year here seems very fast ... thank you for being a great team player. Jaga tempat saya baik2 tau ... view cantik tu..

FIRDAUS ... the recent addition of APS team... Didn't get the opportunity to know you well, but your light sense of humour is really brighting the aquarium ...

FAHMI ... even though you have left SPN, but you are still part of the APS team, 'lil bro ...good luck in your studies and remember to study hard and smart ...

the rest of the CAD team ...

BIG BOSS! En Hisham ... I came in when you were an AGM and now you're already a GM. You have really inspired me to be more successful in my carier ... thank you ever so much for all your guidance and above all, thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve here in SPNB ...

EN Rahim & En Irwan ... I never had the opportunity to work with you guys directly but the guidance and knowledge that you have shared with me will continue to serve me well... thank you.

Yati & Yan ... welcome to APS ... you'll have a great time being part of the aquarium, trust me!

Kak Tie ... you are like a kakak to me just like kak wa and thank you for being such agreat friend all this while. I am sure that you'll be a fine exec one day, chairing meetings in english dan meng'sound' contractor dengan english yang berabuk habis!! Yeah! Go Kak Tie!! ... and may one day, I'll drove by Starhill and stop by "Atie's Coutoure" and buy one of my finest garment there ... all the best sis!

Syeema ... the cute lil' sis ... all the best in ur future undertakings and may u graduate with 1st class honours .. nak convo nnt jgn lupa bagitau ye ...

Kak Fai, Lela, Sarah, Kak Mariha, Suhada, Kak Su, Ina, Syasya, CT ... thank you for being such a good friend and colleagues ... you all are the best ...

To all the boys of CAD ... sorry le. ramai sangat, tak larat nak tulis nama sorang2 ... thank you for making my experience in CAD an unforgetful one ... you guys are the best!

last but not least to my everdearest kak ita ... lepas ni, mesti tiap2 pagi saya akan rindukan air nescafe kak ita yang kaw kaw tu ... tima kasih banyak2 atas segala kebaikan yang kak ita curahkan terutamanya masa saya pregnant dulu ... hanya Allah yang mampu membalasnya ...

I sincerely pray to ALLAH that may the future brings the best to all of us ...


A song that i dedicate to all of you ...

Pertemuan kita di suatu hari
Menitikan ukhuwah yang sejati
Bersyukurku ke hadrat ilahi
Di atas jalinan yang suci

Namun kini perpisahan yang terjadi
Dugaan yang menimpa diri
Bersabarlah di atas suratan
Ku tetap pergi jua

Kan ku utuskan salam ingatanku
Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu
Ya ALLAH bantulah hambaMU

Mencari hidayah daripadaMU
Dalam mendidikkan kesabaranku
YA ALLAH tabahkan hati hambaMU
Di atas perpisahan ini

Teman, betapa pilunya hati
Menghadapi perpisahan ini
Pahit manis perjuangan
Telah kita rasa bersama
Semoga ALLAH memberkati persahabatan kita
Teruskanlah perjuangan ini

Kan ku utuskan salam ingatanku
Dalam doa kudusku sepanjang waktu
Ya ALLAH bantulah hambaMU

Senyuman yang tersirat di bibirmu
Menjadi ingatan setiap waktu
Tanda kemesraan bersimpul padu
Kenangku di dalam doamu
Semoga tuhan berkatimu